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Posted by Kim

~We are always getting ready to live but never living.

Ralph Waldo Emerson~

It’s 5 am on a summery Sunday morning, and I am wide awake. I’ve known for a quite a long time what I wanted to write my blog about, but haven’t had the creative energy or known where to start.  But this past week has provided a great deal of clarity for me, so it’s time to share.

I’ll simply start with two statements: “live in the moment” and “know what you’re worth”. These two ideas seem to be reoccurring themes for me in 2011. I catch myself revisiting/reminding myself of them often. I’m one of those people who can successfully conjure up many “Choose Your Own Adventures” in my mind: “I begin to explore my surroundings and feel nervous…at the edge of the room I see a door, my escape, do I walk through?  Yes, turn to page 72; if no, turn to page 10”. I can live in my head quite well; sometimes happily, sometimes not, but this year I have made a concerted effort to step out of my head and live in the now. As I mature, I realize more and more how precious life is and how little control I have over it. My growth revolves mainly around living and being true to myself. We tend to sell ourselves short, settle for less than we deserve in work and/or relationships (personal, familial, or romantic). Life is not about selling yourself short, selling out, being taken advantage of or for granted—the essence of life is finding that inner peace and joy, and living true to oneself.

So many times we look externally for validation, self-worth, and reassurance, but when we do this, we find that there is never quite enough external positive reinforcement to fill that void. The minute we receive a compliment or praise, we are in search of the next pat on the shoulder or reward. It becomes a never-ending, vicious, and exhausting cycle, in search of our own self-worth. This type of existence prevents us from seizing the moment, since we’re always searching for our next ‘fix’ for approval. We end up feeling like we are never ‘enough’, and it allows for someone else to determine our value.

I’ve made a decision to live my life in a calm, blessed, positive space. I recognize who I am, what my talents, skills, faults and downfalls are, and I try to hold my head up with confidence. Is it always easy? No. Are some days
harder than others? Of course! But one thing I’ve learned is that the only
person I can truly rely on for happiness is me. I’m not perfect, and I don’t
want to be; if I was, I would have no reason to grow, experience, and live.

I’m living my life genuinely, and that means more than living for today and doing what I want; it’s not about playing games in my personal or professional worlds, and being honest to others. It’s about living authentically, honouring, and celebrating the true me, and knowing my worth—even if it means a relationship morphs or ends; I turn down a job; romantic life takes a different direction; or expectations change.

In this moment, I have the ability to change my life, in any way I choose. No matter what happened before, I can choose differently today. I can stay on the same path I was on yesterday OR I can make a turn and head in a new direction. Today I am making choices that will affect my life tomorrow – my choices that I’m good with. And as I respond to life’s surprises, I simply will adjust my choices in order to re-create my happy peaceful place, despite life’s ups and downs, twists and turns.

I know my value and I won’t let anyone place a value on me. My life is
too precious to hand over to anyone else to validate, or for me to rely on them
to start living. I am enjoying my life in the right here, right now – today!

“In life every ending is equally possible, every path unwalked, every
question not only unanswered, but unasked, there are infinite possibilities.
Yet the ending is already written and there is no outwitting it.” ~Kat Howard~

Are you brave enough to begin living in your moment and owning your worth? If so, turn to page 15; if no, that’s ok too, I wish you best of luck in your adventure…

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